Monday, November 12, 2007

Time to break out the Dental Floss

Neil Atwood wrote the story. One day you will wake up and discover you are plant food. Those guys are not kidding about gingivitis- it can get out of hand real quick!
Floss, my friends, floss.
The new 20-page ZOOT SCOOTER story will be out and about very soon from Allied Media Productions.
Watch this space and visit our table at the Phoenix Cactus Comicon, being held 26-28 January 2008, appropriately enough, at the Mesa Contention Center, three days walk from downtown Phoenix.
How come nobody calls premium gas "Ethyl" any more?

Thursday, November 1, 2007 sure is Quiet.

Following the spacetime continuum to the year TMX206, we find that Presidemperor Incitatus the 52nd has invaded and occupied the planet Z-raq in a wain and vain attempt to secure new supplies of Helium 3. By the time the occupation enters its fourth year, the treasury has been bankrupted, and the Space Cadet Academy has been forced to purchase its janitorial supplies as surplus from the Louisiana Sanitation Department. A complex ergot-based chemical developed by Albert Hofmann in the year CE1938 is being used as an industrial-strength cleaning fluid known by its trade-name, Uncle Clean.
For more of this story, watch this space.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I had a dream

Everything crash. That’s what the Ethiopian said.

And so it was, the whole network, hundreds and hundreds of computers were down, and nobody could figure out what to do. Except find someone to blame.

All the employees had been summoned and were gathered in a large, brightly lit fluorescent room, furnished with long tables, no chairs.

Everyone stood. The boss produced a big chart with an explorer-type tree printed out. It seems the offending item, Exhibit One, was a file named A. “A-dot”, no file extension, just A.

“Who made this file?”

His eyes fell on Ali.

“Did you make this file?”

Ali shrugged, “No”.

“It’s an ‘A’. Your name starts with ‘A’. A-L-I. Who else could it be?

“You are the only Persian here who answers to that.”

“No, no. It couldn’t be”, interjected an employee, one knowledgeable in such matters.

“He never had access to that drive.”

That shut the boss up, for a moment.

We were ordered to form a cue, sort of a gauntlet which we all walked, each in turn signing a form which no-one was given time to read.

In the end, Management did the only thing they could do: force each and every one of the work force to sign a waiver absolving the company of any and all responsibilities, forever.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Friday Night Class

What a hellish experience, trying to teach last night. For a $90k+ degree, some of these Young Americans don’t seem to give a rat’s ass. Most of them want to learn, but as for some of them, I can not say. I am incorporating coursework via Moodle, which takes some time and effort. Will it make learning easier? I suppose we will see. It leaves me less time for my art, at this stage of the game.

This morning at IHOP, I sat across from a woman having breakfast with Irani Pres Ahmadinejad. I recognized her from the front-page photograph in the Sunday paper. Said photo accompanied an article headlined, TOUGH NEW DUI LAWS TAKE EFFECT, or words to that effect. She was wearing the same flimsy maroon halter, and the very same hair and face. Marvelous, how images from massMedia sneak up on your hypnogogic hallucinations.

Don Markstein’s TOONOPEDIA.COM is undergoing its grand renovation as I write. Don does not care for beans or nihilism. is meandering its way to a new look, but I don’t know when it will re-launch.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

McClaw fought the Law and McClaw won

DATELINE: the desert outside the town of Dogbad, Arizona.
Outlaw Kit McClaw shoots it out with the Sheriff of Dogbad.
is escaping with a gunny sack full of illegal Owsley M-80's.
The sheriff's hired killers,"private con-trackers" known as
the Bushwater Boys are "a law unto they-selfs",
according to the locals, killing and maiming, raping-and-pillaging anyone, anywhere, any time they durn well please.
McClaw intends to use and distribute M-80's in self-defence against those Bushwater chuch-i-sag (Farsi: "sons-of-bitches").