Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Shucks! Now I have to run for president.

Summer's here and business is slow. I spend my precious time searching for old
contra-bass saxophone solos on YouTube. There are some good new ones, of course.

James Carter is a standout, always was. Coleman Hawkins lives, though there are no films
of him I can find. The recordings are taken from discs.

I've booked three different models for Open Session Life Drawing classes. Wishing
to drum up trade as much as possible, I produced a poster. Kevin H suggested I tone it down, so I did, but here is the director's cut.

Most people will likely only see a "censored" version. This is, by the way, the only place
on the world wide web where you can see a depiction of 3/4 female nudity (I think).
There are millions of web sites, and I still haven't seen them all...

I was intrigued when I heard an item on the NPR Science Friday programme last week, an interview with an Aussie entrepreneur who prevailed upon some fat friends to undergo liposuction, and donate their collected body fat to have him cook it down, in his own kitchen, into bio-diesel fuel, which he used to propel his boat. The implications of this act are staggering, to say the least, for the citizens of United States and the world. We have found a single solution to two of our most pressing problems : the obesity epidemic and the fuel crisis. If we had our act together half as well as the World War Two generation who collected scrap metal, string, paper and everything else, we could make patriotic fat-harvesting part of the daily routine of every school, office and police department.

We now face the possibility of becoming a true space-age race, as highly evolved as any extraterrestrial species depicted on Star Trek, or in the annals of Science Fiction- a species whose bodies produce a substance that propels their vehicles.

What about that other pressing issue, Global Warming? The solution to this most grave threat to our future, is simple, so simple I can’t believe nobody else thought of it:

  1. Everybody open all their windows and all their doors, at home and at work.
  2. Turn the AC up to FULL.
  3. Wait for the temperature to decrease. If it doesn’t go down within 90 days, we can try another idea.